Saturday, November 7, 2009

Happy Carl Sagan Day!

In honor of Carl Sagan's 75th birthday, Broward College is hosting the 1st annual Carl Sagan Day today. Speakers include D.J. Grothe, Phil Plait, James Randi, and others. Do something to honor his memory today, if you like. Watch an episode of Cosmos, take the telescope out for a spin, or encourage someone to think skeptically about something.

Carl Sagan's writing has been instrumental in helping me to understand my own point of view better, and was critical in allowing me to admit to myself and others that I am a skeptic. I owe him a lot. I'll post more about that someday, but today is not the day. I have a novel I need to be writing. I haven't posted much about Carl Sagan here lately, mostly because I'm too lazy. But I'd like to get back to having a Sagan Sunday at least once a month.

Here's a video I recently discovered, in which Carl Sagan features prominently, along with Richard Feynman, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and Bill Nye. I could watch this over and over. It's basically a spiritual experience for me. I hope you enjoy it.


Symphony of Science - We Are All Connected

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Daily Show: The 11/3 Project

For the love of Pete, wake up people! They are coming for your internal organs! If they can take Glenn Beck's burst appendix to save his life, who's to say they can't take your healthy appendix tomorrow and eat it in front of you and your children?

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The 11/3 Project
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The Daily Show: The 11/3 Project

Iraq security forces using dowsing rods as bomb detectors

This story is scary as hell. There is nothing in this story, and in fact nothing in the entire body of scientific knowledge, that would suggest dowsing wands are capable of detecting bombs or anything else. False positives and false negatives are easily rationalized away, and in fact both are done by Iraqi officials in the course of this short story. It really would be funny, except that people will die because of this. It's as if TSA wanted to swing a magic crystal pendulum around your head to detect any weapons before you could board an airplane. It's ridiculous.

Maj. Gen. Jehad al-Jabiri says, "I know more about bombs than anyone in the world." He also confidently dismisses all the rigorous experiments done to determine whether the dowsing wands are actually capable of... you know, detecting bombs. "I don’t care about Sandia or the Department of Justice or any of them," he says. "Whether it’s magic or scientific, what I care about is it detects bombs." Really? You actually care about that? If you care, you might bother to examine the evidence instead of putting people's lives at risk based on your magical interepretation of the ideomotor effect.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Colbert - Mormon Church Trespassing

This Colbert clip is fantastic, as always. It's about the two guys who were arrested for criminal trespassing on Main Street Plaza, and not at all because they are gay. In case there was any doubt about that, hear the money quote: "I am absolutely not a professor of sticking it to the gays."

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nailed 'Em - Mormon Church Trespassing
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Nailed 'Em - Mormon Church Trespassing

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Read my NaNoWriMo novel in progress

I've been debating with myself whether to share this year's NaNoWriMo novel in progress, but I've decided to do it. This year I'm writing a story about the first commercial cruise to Mars, in the year 2060 or so. If you're interested in reading it, shoot me an email at mthelen (at) gmail dot (com) or leave your email address in a comment - I think I need your email address to invite you. However, if you think you are interested, there are a few things you should be aware of.

1. It will not be good, and I'm not trying to make it good. I'm trying to write as many words as possible, as quickly as possible, and I am turning off my Inner Editor. Trust me, I will eventually be as bothered about my bad writing as you are, but not now. You may be horrified to learn that the story will even contain notes to myself, written in square brackets. This will be a rough draft in the truest sense of the word.

2. Along these same lines, I will eventually be interested in critical feedback, but right now I'm mostly interested in adulatory praise and flattery. I'm also interested in knowing what you find most interesting about the story, and what you're looking forward to reading next. I won't promise to satisfy you, but I think I will find that kind of feedback valuable.

3. For the most part, I plan to write the story straight through, but I may very well write scenes or entire chapters out of order. If this happens and it confuses you, try to remember that this is just a pile of rubbish anyway. I will do whatever I need to do to get my 50,000 words by the end of the month. I apologize, dear reader, that I am not truly writing for your benefit. Yet.

4. There will potentially be offensive language, mature themes, embarrassing dialogue, and unlikable characters who might seem an awful lot like you. I will be writing whatever comes to mind, and I will not be censoring anything for anyone. If this might bother you, please don't read it! You've been warned.

5. I may eventually try to get this story published, so please don't share any portion of it without my explicit permission. The blog is by invitation only, so if you've been invited, consider yourself special and please respect the limited nature of this draft's distribution. Obviously, all contents of the blog are copyright 2009 Michael Thelen, all rights reserved. Yadda yadda.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

It's NaNoWriMo time again!

NaNoWriMo Participant 2009Last November, I finally took the plunge and participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). The goal is to write a 50,000-word novel during the month of November. It was a blast, and I actually pulled it off!

Unfortunately, I can't show you the finished product, because... well, it's not finished. Although I wrote 50,000 words, the story was just starting to get interesting. In the past 11 months, I've only added about 5,000 more words, so the novel's current status is still "half-finished first draft". I've learned my lesson, and this year I will be completing a full story arc by 50,000 words even if I have to write scenes consisting entirely of a single sentence such as, "Here is the scene where two of the alien's three heads confess their love for our hero, while the third head spits in his face."

Here are a few more lessons I learned from last year's NaNoWriMo experience.

Give yourself permission to write a shitty first draft. No, seriously. I pretended to do this last year, but in hindsight I wasn't really committed to it. I did a lot of re-reading, cleaning up dialogue, closing plot holes, etc. That is absolutely not the way to pump out a first draft in 30 days. During the month of November, your Inner Editor is your enemy. Sure, it will be your best friend on subsequent revisions, but not in the next 30 days. Go for quantity, not quality. The goal is to get it written, not to get it right. Detailing David's lovely locks before you even chisel out the bottom half of his body makes it less likely you'll finish the sculpture at all.

But just how shitty are we talking here? Without your Inner Editor, does this mean your plot may not make sense? Yes. Does this mean your characters may be boring stereotypes or wild caricatures of your cow-orkers? Yes. Does this mean your dialogue will be full of clichés, and will probably read like it was written by a second grader? Yes. Does this mean you will leave stray commas, parentheses, and adverbs where none are needed? Yes. Does this mean you will write run-on sentences from hell? Yes. Does this mean you will make up impossible fantasies instead of spending hours of research to ensure your sci-fi devices obey the known laws of physics? Oh, hell yes. Make something up. Pretend you're an expert. Write love notes to yourself and use them toward your word count. Don't worry too much about where this is going. Just go, go, go!

Don't fall too far behind. To write 50,000 words in 30 days, you need to average about 1,666 words per day. This can seem daunting, but less so if you write without the Inner Editor reading over your shoulder. However, even if you write like the wind, there may be times when you fall behind. Especially during Week 2, when the novelty has worn off and your story starts to get stuck. Last year on November 16, I was 10,751 words behind pace. I was supposed to have written 26,666 words, and I had only written 15,915. I saw the writing on the wall; unless I made a drastic change, I wasn't going to make it. I confessed to my wife that I didn't think I was going to finish. It was fun while it lasted, and I wouldn't feel too bad for falling short.

Fortunately my wife talked some sense into me, and I kicked it into high gear. Making up ground is possible if you fall this far behind, and it can even be thrilling, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's much better for your sanity if you can stay on pace by writing every day. Write a ton during the rush of Week 1, and you will give yourself a cushion that Week 2 will do its best to destroy.

If you do fall behind, catch up with sprints. Writing in short, focused bursts is a good way to crank out high word counts while avoiding burnout. I like to do what Simon Haynes suggests; write in chunks of 500 words, four times per day. Each sprint should last about 20-30 minutes. If you get behind, Simon also has a fantastic catch-up plan that will net you 7,500 words in a single day. I did this last year on November 22 and it made all the difference. I went from 6,000 words behind to right on track. Talk about a confidence booster!

So what are you waiting for? Have you ever wanted to write a novel but haven't sat down and made it happen? Almost no one has done it, but writing a novel is well within reach, and there's no better opportunity than NaNoWriMo. Sign up now, and while you're at it, add me as a writing buddy. Even if you're not participating, you can follow my progress at the link above, and I'll be posting about it periodically on this blog as well. Any questions? Let me know. Happy noveling!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Are you a Mormon?

(Cross-posted at Main Street Plaza.)

At Main Street Plaza, we recently discussed the various names we use to refer to ourselves (liberal Mormon, NOM, post-Mormon, ex-Mormon, etc.) depending on how we each perceive our relationship with Mormonism. I’m interested in much more direct question, which I’m never quite sure how to answer. Are you a Mormon?

It seems like a straightforward question, but I find it surprisingly tricky because it’s not always clear what is meant by “Mormon”. If it means a member of the CoJCoLdS, then my answer should be yes, because I am still on the records as a member of that church. If it means someone who has ever had the experience of being a Mormon, then my answer is also yes. If it means a person who considers oneself a part of the Mormon culture or believes Mormon doctrine, then my answer should be no, because I am neither. For others, the situation may be reversed; you might not be a member of the church anymore, but still consider yourself part of the Mormon culture. So are you a Mormon?

In my own mind, I’ve pretty much moved on from Mormonism, but to answer either yes or no without further explanation seems strange. I tend to give a different answer depending on the context. If a stranger asks, I’ll usually just say no unless I’m interested in having a conversation about Mormonism. If I actually feel like talking about it and they seem interested, I might start with something like, “Technically I am a Mormon, but…” I’ve heard of others using the phrase “I was raised Mormon,” which I would love to use, except that I was an adult convert. Do the details really matter? Maybe the phrase “I used to be a Mormon” is an acceptable substitute.

However, there is one situation in which I always say yes: whenever I run into LDS missionaries. I’m not interested in arguing with them, and I’m not interested in their attempts to convert me, either. So I just say yes, I’m a Mormon; no, I don’t have any referrals; good luck, elders, and have a nice day.

When I sat down to consider this question, I was surprised to discover that my answer depends mostly on whether I feel like getting into a discussion. In a way, my approach feels a little shady, but I think I’m okay with it. How about you? How do you answer the question? Are you a Mormon?